My Faith Story

Our church has asked each woman to write her "faith story." Here is mine.

I am so thankful that I grew up in a Christian home with a functional, fun, warm, close family, and was saved as a preschooler. But in some ways it was more difficult to understand the gospel without having consciously experienced life without Him.

Although no one ever said this, I got the idea that Christians don’t sin. I knew that when my parents were saved in their early 20s, they started living very differently than they had in their wild college days. So I didn’t know how to handle my own struggles with sin that intensified when I reached high school and college. Although in retrospect I know they would have been so encouraging, at the time I didn’t want to risk disappointing my parents. So I agonized alone…was I really saved? Why was I sinning? How could I stop?

God continued to be at work in my life: I was surrounded by godly people and went to Bible-teaching churches. And although I was inconsistent, He gave me a strong desire to study His Word and obey Him. A turning point was when I joined Bible Study Fellowship and had real accountability for daily Bible study. Funny how the answers to my questions are always in the Bible…if I just read it! I came to see that the gospel wasn’t just for me when I was saved at 3; I need it every moment of every day!

I am so thankful that I am not saved because of my (insufficient) obedience, but through turning from my sins and having faith in Jesus, that He is God’s Son and died for my sins and was resurrected and glorified. Now God does not see me with all my flaws; but with Christ’s perfection. So when I am dismayed at my own failings I am thankful for their reminder that I am imperfect, which makes my joy in Jesus all the more precious and immediate. My delight in Him fills me with a longing to praise and to please Him. He will make me more holy as I respond to what He has done, focusing on knowing Him and His promises, and not on my struggles.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Jane Austen's History of England

Mansfield Park (1999) is my favorite Jane Austen movie.

And I just learned that the History of England presented in this movie as written by the character Fanny is actually a real book that Jane wrote when she was just 16!






Here is the book. I'd love to read it; the quotes from her history in the movie are hilarious.










The bit I saw in the paper was a review of this book, which has both Austen's and Charles Dickens' versions of the history of England.

Movie Review: Michael Clayton

I wanted to see this movie since it was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar and, since it just came out on DVD, my visiting parents hadn't seen it yet. I was quite impressed by the movie, and recommend it. The acting is excellent and the story is smart, captivating, and thought-provoking.

Caveats: it's tough to follow the story at first, but as it unfolds it is fascinating. The language is atrocious.

The basic premise is that a "fixer" at a law firm, Michael Clayton (George Clooney), is called in to take care of a partner who has gone crazy while working on the defense of a lawsuit against a very important client. I was intrigued by the tension and discovery of what was right and what was wrong (always complicated), and what each character chooses and why. I was especially intrigued by the character of the lead counsel for the firm's client, Karen Crowder, played by Tilda Swinton, who won the best-supporting actress Oscar for the role. Crowder was so overwhelmed, and clearly out of her league. While I thankfully never made decisions as colossally poor as hers were, I often had the experience when working (and even now as a mom!) of taking on roles that were beyond my experience or abilities (at least as I perceived them at the time). So my empathy for her made the ending all the more tragic, even as it was very satisfying.

Toddler knows her geography!

This is impressive, but does she know the capitals?


HT: Michelle

Jif's Decadent Peanut Butter Pie

I ran across this recipe in a Sunday ad insert. And it is SOOOO good. Too bad Karis is too young to eat peanuts, and this is so not Alex's thing. Good thing my parents will be here tomorrow to help me eat it!

To Vote for McCain...or Not?

I am a Huckabee fan. But I do realize that even in a brokered convention (unlikely) he won't be the nominee.

So that leaves me with...should I vote for McCain or not?

I have always appreciated Dr. Dobson, and he will not be voting for McCain.

And I hate the idea of sending a message to the GOP that it takes moderate/left Republicans like Schwarzenegger or McCain to win an election. I hate the idea of rewarding McCain for things like McCain/Feingold, the Gang of 14, his "no" votes on the Bush tax cuts, his "no" vote on the marriage amendment, etc.

But it may be critical to vote for him because of Islamofascism and because of the better judges he would appoint. Maybe that's critical enough to outweigh any other reservations I have.

I read an amusing/scary column speculating what the country would be like in 2012 if the Republicans didn't all unite behind McCain and Obama wins.

Why I Married My Husband (Part 3 of 3)

3. I married Alex because I knew he could handle the hard things that we would go through together. Whenever we had a conflict, he always moved toward me. He was committed to working things out and restoring our relationship. We have always come out closer and stronger after conflict. Even when I (generally a people-pleaser who hates conflict and works to repair things as quickly as possible) want to retreat and co-exist in stony silence, he never lets me. He always makes sure things are made right. And he is willing to change. He is humble to want to learn where he is at fault, and/or what he can do to make me happy. And he genuinely sacrifices himself to grow and learn and adapt. And I LOVE that he is quick and clever to turn a frosty exchange into a joke we laugh at for weeks.

Alex has a deep understanding and perspective of the role of suffering and of God's sovereignty. I knew he would always be a comfort and a rock to me whatever we went through, and that he would speak truth to me and point me to Christ in whatever we encountered together.

And now that we are married, in many ways things are better than I had ever imagined. Alex, like most men, isn't one to really talk about his feelings, and likes to process internally. Yet he always talks things out with me and gives much weight to my opinions and perspectives. I truly feel like his partner and help meet. And he is so tender with me! Often when I'm grouchy or short, he'll make a playful joke or say something sweet, and I have to smile and give him a hug!

God has blessed me with a wonderful husband, who I respect and love tremendously. He always makes me feel loved, desirable, wanted, first. In the daily stresses of life may I never forget what a gift he is.

Why I Married My Husband (Part 2 of 3)

2. Alex was living and wanted to live for Christ, living out his faith and love for God in every aspect of his life, showing that Jesus was his treasure.

Alex tried to scare me away when we first met, and instead drew me irresistibly to him! He wanted me to know that he wasn't choosing the white picket fence life, that he would live sold-out to God, with a wartime lifestyle, making choices to glorify God in all he did. He gave me the book Don't Waste Your Life to read, and I was pretty much sold right there. Certainly he would stretch me in my faith and walk with God, and not hold me back.

Yet Alex is balanced, too. You might think from what I wrote that we live a spartan existence with bloody knees. But Alex understands too the value of recreation and enjoyment of life. It means so much to me that as we struggle to think how can we make each decision, each dollar, each moment count the most, he loves to whisk us all out for lunch or take a weekend away with me at the beach.

Why I Married My Husband (Part 1 of 3)

This past Friday I was at the mother's group, "A Mother's Place," at our church. In light of Valentine's Day, one of the questions we discussed at my table was, "Why did you marry your husband?" After we got beyond "because he asked me," there were some great answers. I answered too, but afterwards thought I could have articulated it better. So here is my stab at a more coherent articulation of why I married Alex:

1. Alex is a man. That may seem like a given, but I found it rather impressive that, when I met him, he was ready to be a grown-up, ready to provide for a family, ready to be the spiritual leader of a family, ready to be a servant-leader to his wife. Even though I had dated quite a bit before (I was 28 when I met Alex), this set of traits was not common. I had, sadly, let go of the dream I'd find a man like this. It was wrong of me to do so, and God blessed me far more than I deserved to find such a man. And in Berkeley, no less!

Others I had dated were fairly laid back, uncertain about their futures, go-with-the-flow kind of guys. In some ways it was good for me to have balance for my more driven, type-A personality. But I hated being the more motivated of a pair. So it was pretty exciting to meet Alex, who is far more driven than I am. Now I get to be the laid-back one! (Or, at least being so similar we can each understand how the other thinks and catch each other from taking things too far.) Now Alex, who went from getting his PhD in engineering to studying theology to teaching engineering and so on may not exactly have the most predictable career path, but he is so competent and effective at everything he does. He is passionate about putting his skills and gifts and interests to the best use for God's kingdom, at the same time always responsibly providing for his family.

And Alex was ready to have a family. He was thinking about marriage and knew he wanted children. And he had already thought about what it would look like for him to be a spiritual leader of his family. He wasn't thinking about these things lightly, but was aware of the burden and joy and ready to assume the role of husband and father.

Breakthrough

I'm a little excited tonight. She did it! We've been talking about the alphabet, singing the song, you know the drill. Other than intense interest, I wouldn't think she was picking up a thing. And colors. Never has she seemed to care or recognize colors. But then...today! I ask her to point to the red flowers on a page in her storybook. She does! I say, "show me a blue flower." She does! We continue...her success isn't 100%, but she clearly gets it! And then, tonight in the bath, she's sticking foam letters and numbers to the side of the tub. I say, "Karis, where's the 'R'?" And she points to it! Then the "X"! Even the "4"! She has NEVER done anything like that before! All this time she's just listening, watching, learning. And I'm thinking, "what am I doing wrong? Why isn't she learning anything?" But she is! She's just processing it all first.

OK, so I'm a proud mama.

Enchanted

My wonderful husband took me to see this movie for our anniversary in December. He even said he liked it. What a sweetie! I LOVED this song:

Movie Review: "Blood Diamond" (B+)

The overall story and premise are quite good. Archer, a white African solider of fortune (Leonardo di Caprio, who, for the first time, looks older than 13) uses a black, displaced fisherman (the always amazing Djimon Hounsou) to find an enormous diamond. The former fisherman, Solomon Vandy, lost his family during a violent raid by rebels who are mining the diamonds to fund their violent war. Vandy's son has been conscripted and brainwashed as a child solider, and Solomon will do anything, including abetting Archer, to find and save his family. The action and scenes directly supporting the story are well-acted and well-paced. But there is way too much talking and making of profound points by the actors, to the detriment of the movie. The story is quite didactic enough without stopping to explain and preach so much. I would recommend the movie, but it is a lot more watchable if you know what to expect. But most of all, I left with a conviction and desire to do something! My beautiful engagement ring is already bought, so Alex and I pray it is not a "blood diamond" (mined to finance senseless violence and conflict). I suspect that even if he'd asked for a "conflict-free" diamond when he bought it, it would be impossible to be certain it wasn't. And all throughout the movie I remembered what I've read about similar pain brought to African families when oil is discovered in their region. I don't hear many calling for a stop to buying oil...I am praying that God will change the hearts of those causing and contributing to the violence.

Freedom to Love

From Andrée Seu in World Magazine:

She is able to ask forgiveness of her mate, even in cases where the fault is not mainly hers, and even if he does not admit blame. She is able to overlook unintentionally hurtful remarks because she is confident in her status with her Lover—"The King is enthralled by your beauty" (Psalm 45:11). She is able to overlook deliberately hurtful remarks because she has behaved that way herself, and so knows the misery of its origin and is pained into praying for her mate's release. She "believes all things" about her mate and is able to visualize his future glory, when all blemishes will be removed to release the real saint.

The whole column.

My blog

Just trying to keep up with my husband...www.alexchediak.com/blog

Not really! But I thought it'd be nice to have a place to share thoughts, pictures, etc. with friends and family.

Happy Valentine's Day! I still have 1 minute!