Why I Married My Husband (Part 1 of 3)

This past Friday I was at the mother's group, "A Mother's Place," at our church. In light of Valentine's Day, one of the questions we discussed at my table was, "Why did you marry your husband?" After we got beyond "because he asked me," there were some great answers. I answered too, but afterwards thought I could have articulated it better. So here is my stab at a more coherent articulation of why I married Alex:

1. Alex is a man. That may seem like a given, but I found it rather impressive that, when I met him, he was ready to be a grown-up, ready to provide for a family, ready to be the spiritual leader of a family, ready to be a servant-leader to his wife. Even though I had dated quite a bit before (I was 28 when I met Alex), this set of traits was not common. I had, sadly, let go of the dream I'd find a man like this. It was wrong of me to do so, and God blessed me far more than I deserved to find such a man. And in Berkeley, no less!

Others I had dated were fairly laid back, uncertain about their futures, go-with-the-flow kind of guys. In some ways it was good for me to have balance for my more driven, type-A personality. But I hated being the more motivated of a pair. So it was pretty exciting to meet Alex, who is far more driven than I am. Now I get to be the laid-back one! (Or, at least being so similar we can each understand how the other thinks and catch each other from taking things too far.) Now Alex, who went from getting his PhD in engineering to studying theology to teaching engineering and so on may not exactly have the most predictable career path, but he is so competent and effective at everything he does. He is passionate about putting his skills and gifts and interests to the best use for God's kingdom, at the same time always responsibly providing for his family.

And Alex was ready to have a family. He was thinking about marriage and knew he wanted children. And he had already thought about what it would look like for him to be a spiritual leader of his family. He wasn't thinking about these things lightly, but was aware of the burden and joy and ready to assume the role of husband and father.