Thoughts on Prop 8

Prop 8 is the constitutional amendment to be voted on in California this year to say that marriage is between a man and a woman.

Recently a friend of mine on Facebook was horrified when I became a supporter on Facebook of Proposition 8:

LOL, I wasn't mad about that nearly as much as I am about your support of the fascist marriage ban!! I, personally, could not care less, but come on marco! Its just not democratic or fair to write bigotry and discrimination into our constitution!!! Tell me what you think OTHER than saying it is what god deemed so...

Hmm..."God deemed it so" is so easy and so right and so sufficient, isn't it? :) OK, maybe not for all of California.

Anyway, I have also spoken to Christian friends, who believe that God did design marriage to be between a man and a woman, but who will surely vote no on Proposition 8 because they don't think they (or the government) has the right to tell people who they can and can't marry.

I have been pondering this for some months now because for me, if it's clear that God prohibits it, I think it should be law. Now that is NOT to say I am into instituting a theocracy. Let's be clear on that; Jesus certainly wasn't or he would have done so, instead of dying for our sins on the cross instead. I think it's really clear that pluralism is good. All religions should be tolerated and no one should be forced to become a Christian. But that said, there are PLENTY of ways we do, and can, and must legislate from the Bible. The basis of our government and laws is based on Judeo-Christian, Biblical principles. Of course I'm going to vote (or elect representatives who will vote) that stealing is illegal. Or murder. Or variations of the above.

And granted, this subject of gay marriage is, in our culture and time, a bit more gray than the issues of cold-blooded murder or burglary. I do get that. But it is still my responsibility as a "co-ruler" of this country and as a Christian to vote my conscience, and to vote what I think is in the best interest for all the people of this country. That is what anyone does (or should do) when they vote. And I do think governmental, and therefore cultural approval, of gay marriage is hurtful to our society as a whole.

1. It will limit free speech, a clear and defined right in our Constitution. If it is legal, those who (by conscience or faith) oppose gay marriage, will not be allowed to deny services (like wedding photography, officiating, artificial insemination, etc.) or to share their views against gay marriage.
2. I believe it will be bad for families and children (in a similar way that no-fault divorce has been damaging). You can argue with me that there is no evidence for this. And no, it can't be empirically proven because there is no way to separate the effects of gay marriage in countries where it has been legal for a significant period of time from the other cultural attitudes and trends that led to it being legalized in the first place. But I have to, as a reasonable person, look at the data and the likely outcomes and make a judgment call. If this is my belief, that it will harm families and children, I would be irresponsible to vote no on Proposition 8.

Below is the text from an e-mail I just received from Capitol Resource Institute, that of all the e-mails on the topic I've received in the last couple of months, I think best sums up my concerns:

Public Schools will teach that homosexuality and same-sex marriage are normal and acceptable-and if you disagree, you are a bigot. Books like "Heather has Two Mommies" or "Daddy's Wedding" will be used to teach kindergartners about homosexual relationships. When parents in Boston complained about an eighth-grade teacher instructing students about gay sex, the teacher responded, "Give me a break. It's legal now."

Churches will be required to perform homosexual marriage ceremonies or face prosecution under anti-discrimination laws. The California Supreme Court recently ruled that medical professionals may not defer treatment to another professional based on their religious objections. In other words, Christians and those with moral beliefs must check their conscience at the door when they arrive at work. The same case law will apply to churches. Pastors will no longer be allowed to refuse marrying homosexuals based on their religious beliefs.

Businesses will be prosecuted for not participating in homosexual ceremonies. A New Mexico photography company is being prosecuted for refusing to photograph the "commitment ceremony" of a homosexual couple. The full force of the government will used to make citizens publicly accept homosexuality.

Married couples will no longer be considered "bride and groom," but "Party A and Party B." A young couple in Placer County wrote the terms "bride" and "groom" on their marriage license, which was returned from the state as an "unacceptable alteration." A husband and wife are legally referred to now as Party A and Party B according to the California government. By redefining marriage, every marriage has already been affected.

The role of parents will be diminished. The family unit is already under assault with no-fault divorce, acceptance of single parenthood, and nanny government usurping the role of fathers. Homosexual marriage worsens this trend by giving government approval to single-sex parenting. Children need both a mother and a father. By approving homosexual marriage, government and society denies children their right and need for both parents.

These are just a few of the negative, damaging consequences of allowing homosexual marriage in our society. When you encounter a neighbor, church member, work associate, or family member who says, "I'm not a bigot-and homosexual marriage won't affect me," remind them of just how much it will impact their family and all families.

This is not an issue of bigotry, but of ensuring marriage isn't redefined by four activist judges. Wanting children to be raised by both of their parents isn't bigoted either. What's truly bigoted is telling Christians, Jews, Muslims and other people of faith that their beliefs must be silenced.

Dr. Laura on Palin for VP

As a Dr. Laura listener and a stay-at-home mommy myself, I was VERY curious to hear what she would have to say about this working mom on the only pro-life ticket for President.

Here is her blog post.

She feels she has no choice but to vote for McCain & Palin because

I am very concerned about having a fundamental leftist, especially one who is a marvelous orator, as President.

But it is with great sadness:

I am haunted by the family pictures of the Palins during political photo-ops, showing the eldest daughter, now pregnant with her own child, cuddling the family’s newborn. When Mom and Dad both work full-time (no matter how many folks get involved with the children), it becomes a somewhat chaotic situation. Certainly, if a child becomes ill and is rushed to the hospital, and you’re on the hotline with both Israel and Iran as nuclear tempers are flaring, where’s your attention going to be? Where should your attention be? Well, once you put your hand on the Bible and make that oath, your attention has to be with the government of the United States of America.

I am somewhat surprised I haven't heard more about this concern from other pro-family leaders. I do wish McCain could have picked someone else, but I also think she will end up being very helpful to him and, more importantly, to the country, as his running mate and as our Vice President. But her children, sadly, are the price.

It's fine for Obama to be inexperienced

Mark Halperin of Time, in an article on Friday, wrote about Palin and her inexperience:

Perhaps all of these potential problems will be avoided because Palin, like Barack Obama, will turn out to be a young, once-in-a-generation political figure who can handle American politics at the highest level without the usual experience.

So it's fine to have Obama, at the top of the political ticket, be woefully inexperienced because he's, well, special. Hmmm. I think this says more about Halperin than either Obama or Palin.

So you're a single woman and you want to be married?

My husband Alex is preaching tomorrow at Wellspring Church about singleness and marriage. There will be a Q&A afterwards. I'll miss it all due to sick babies :(, but Alex asked me to jot down my thoughts for the single women in the group. I have wrestled with this subject a lot: I myself had hoped to marry right out of college, and didn't meet Alex till I was 28, so I had the experience of wondering, "what's wrong with me?" and "will I ever get married?" I have many girl friends who are single. And since Alex wrote With One Voiceand started his blog, we have had many occasions to read books on the topic and speak to singles.

This is what I wanted and needed to hear when I was single:

It is OK to want to get married.
- God gave most of us a longing to be a wife and mother.
- He designed marriage as a very good thing. (Genesis 1-2, Ephesians 5) From a Biblical perspective, marriage really is the normal, default state of an adult person.
- It doesn't necessarily mean you are "desperate" or "not content in Christ" if you wish to be married. Plenty of desires are healthy, normal, and God-given (like hunger, desire for a (better) job, desire for children, etc.) and suppressing or denying them isn't helpful or necessary.
- It can be frustrating to tell other Christians that you desire to get married for fear they will think you are desperate or will lecture you on being content. Or you may be reluctant yourself to acknowledge how deeply you desire marriage. I recommend reading, or giving your friends to read Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singlenessby Debbie Maken. It's not a perfect book by any means, but she gets it right on this.

It is OK to pursue marriage.
- We don't tell someone who is hungry, "don't do anything to get food; just sit at home and wait and see what God puts on your table." Of course all food is provided by God. Yet we must go out and earn a living to make money to buy it, and then take the time and effort to plan the meals and grocery list, go to the store and buy the food, and come home and stock the fridge and pantry and prepare the meals. I can think of no other area of life, besides finding a spouse, where Christians are given the warning to be sure to do nothing and "see what God provides."
- Yes, we do believe that God gave the man the role of leadership and initiation of marriage. But there are plenty of things a woman can do. Some are:
1. Let your friends of all ages and life-stages, elders, family members, etc. know that you would like to get married, and that you welcome being introduced to quality men they know.
2. Expand your exposure to godly, husband-and-father-quality men. If your church doesn't have any, it might be reasonable to go to (an otherwise also excellent) church that does. If your hobbies consist of scrapbooking and knitting, it might be nice to also join a hiking club or other activity where you might meet more people. Go to a conference. Take a class.
3. Use an online service like e-harmony. This should be done VERY cautiously, and primarily with a goal to accomplish #2 above. When you do meet someone, move off the computer and into the real world very quickly (although start off in a safe, public place, ideally with your friends). Set your distance parameters to be very close; long-distance matches are not going to be helpful for evaluating someone for marriage.
4. Be the kind of woman that would attract the kind of man you want to marry. Grow in godliness and maturity. Get out of debt. Learn how to wear makeup, buy new clothes, lose weight. Ask a few trusted friends, both men and women, and your pastor if you need to get ideas.
5. Be available. If you're working 80 hours a week, scale back. If you are involved in activities like babysitting your sisters' kids, leading girl scouts, and attending women's Bible studies every night of the week, exchange some of your women or children focused activities for others that offer at least the possibility of meeting a man.

Avoid the pitfalls!
1. Don't be too picky! Of course some standards are a must - he's got to be passionately following Christ, he has to be someone you can respect and be led by. But come on! He dresses a little funny? Your college room mate you haven't spoken to in 10 years went out on one date with him? He has a hairy back? Lower your standards on the non-essential and the just plain silly. Even if you are not initially attracted to a guy, give him a couple of dates or conversations to see if there might be more there than you initially thought.
2. Don't be so available that you are wasting your time. This is the reverse to #1. You know the guy just became a believer and isn't ready to lead you, or you know he has so much baggage it'll never get beyond the friend stage. So don't waste every Friday night with him! Or worse, stay in a 2-year relationship when you know this is not the guy who should be the father of your children. It's very helpful to avoid physical intimacy, as sexual (even short of sex itself) connections can make it very hard to see someone objectively or to break up even when you know it's past time to do so.
3. Don't believe the lie that there's only THE ONE. You are not going to know who "the one" is until you've said "I do." Don't wait for God to hit you over the head with a 2x4 saying, "this is him!" Sometimes He chooses to give us very clear signs, but for most of us it's like any other decision: we seek wise counsel, we pray, we spend time getting to know him in a variety of seasons and situations, we wisely evaluate his character, we feel some chemistry and emotions, and we take a step of faith.
4. Don't wait too long. It's easy to think that you'll have plenty of time to think about a husband after you get your masters and PhD and establish your career. But the reality is, women are most attractive to men the younger they are (check out WHAT OUR MOTHERS DIDN'T TELL US: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman). And how much better is it to share these years with the love of your life? And to have children before you need to shop for an egg donor?
5. Don't idolize marriage. It is easy to think that all our problems will be solved once we're married, or that we can finally start living once we have our own family. This is not only a sinful attitude, but can lend an air of desperation to our interactions with men, which is a real turnoff to a mature, healthy man.

God doesn't promise a husband to each of us who wants one.
- Some of us are gifted with celibacy: you might have a deep contentment and confidence that God has called you to be single for a special purpose, like overseas missions or a demanding calling that does not leave sufficient time to help and love a husband and children.
- We live in a broken, groaning world (Romans 8). In our culture/society specifically right now, courtship is very broken. Men, even Christian men, are affected by a culture that glorifies delayed adolescence and easy sex. Many men do not even think about marriage until late in their thirties, and then they want to marry someone in their mid-twenties. Many men are not financially and emotionally mature enough to marry until much later. Some men find they are perfectly content on their own, and can get all the sex and/or companionship they want from plenty of women who don't demand a life commitment.
- Marriage isn't everything. Even for those who have it, it is only for this life.
- We can take comfort that even though God has given marriage as the best thing, He might also ordain some to wait for it or even to never enjoy it. And in so doing, He will still give us everything we need to remain single and to remain content (see 2 Corinthians 12:10 and Philippians 4:11). He has ordained that we all suffer to various degrees at various times. Some suffer through difficult marriages, others from the loss of a child, or persecution for their faith, or the loss of a limb, or being unemployed, etc. All of these conditions are "wrong" in a sense and show how imperfect this world is, how much it has been ravaged by sin. And so our hope is not in marriage per se, but in Him who is constantly perfecting us and in His return.

Obama & Me: Part 1

Disclaimer: I wholeheartedly hope Mr. Obama loses the election in November, and can think of few people less qualified to be President and whose policies would be more disastrous for this nation.

But that said, I am also grateful for his nomination. I cheer that a black person has received the presidential nomination of a major party. And I am very thankful to have this opportunity to better understand what is means to be black, and how one's race can affect one's worldview and approach to defining and solving the problems of the world. Obama has written two books, Dreams of My Father and The Audacity of Hope, which give fascinating insight into his views on race. Because he is the son of a white, American woman and a black, African father, his background is quite different from that of most black people in our country who are the descendants of slaves. So his wrestling with his own identity provides a fascinating angle on what it means to be black in America.

So, I plan to post my way through both books, also commenting on his current comments and speeches in the political arena as they occur.

First, I think I should share some of my history and bias so that anyone might understand how I am coming to understand this man.

I was raised in a politically conservative, evangelical Christian home in the San Francisco Bay Area (a politically very liberal, faithless part of the country). I am certain there is plenty of racism in the Bay Area, but it was not obvious to me growing up. I was raised to view all people as equal, regardless of their color. I had friends in elementary school of people from multiple races, had bosses and co-workers after college of all races, and didn't give it much thought. Yet clearly so many see it as a pervasive, on-going curse and burden affecting all or most aspects of life for millions in our country. So I am eager to explore and better understand what race means and how the problems of racism might best be addressed, and whether some problems perceived to be the result of racism might really be of a different origin.

How to get lasting happiness

Very well said from DG on the difference between Christianity and Buddhism:

Jesus and the Buddha agree that pursuing happiness in transient things is futile, but they direct us to opposite solutions. The Buddha says satisfaction is treasuring nothing. Jesus says it is treasuring God. In treasuring God we end up receiving all things. In treasuring no thing we end up with, well, nothing.

The whole post from DG.

HT: Kingdom Surge

Movie Review: Sense & Sensibility

Just watched it after recording it on PBS a few weeks ago. Absolutely fantastic! I had enjoyed the Emma Thompson/Hugh Grant version, but it was nothing special, I thought. This one was a whole different experience. On the whole better cast, and the actress who plays Elinor was brilliant. Her character is more reserved, yet the actress expressed everything just in her eyes or a slight change in posture. This movie is now my favorite Jane Austen movie, tied with the BBC Pride & Prejudice.

OK, OK, I guess I can vote for McCain.

I had been reluctant.

But tonight I even went so far as to sign up as a supporter of McCain in Facebook! That's big.

How could I do such a thing? Well...I just watched the 4/15 John McCain CMU speech and the 4/16 Democratic Debate in Philadelphia. And how could I do otherwise?

Here is part 1 of each:

Help for praying every day!

I need it...
I mean, I pray throughout the day, but since ending my work commute, which was a great time to pray, I've been pathetic at making time for daily, consistent, structured prayer. Is that necessary? That's for another post. And so is how I will structure it in my day.

But this is my plan for praying every day:

1. Pray the gospel. I need to do this constantly, every day.

2. ACTS:
A: Adoration
C: Confession
T: Thanksgiving
S: Supplication

3. From When I Don't Desire God by John Piper:

I—(Incline!) The first thing my soul needs is an inclination toward God and his Word. Without that, nothing else will happen of any value in my life. I must want to know God and read his Word and draw near to him. Where does that “want to” come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 119:36 teaches us to pray, “Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!” Very simply we ask God to take our hearts, which are more inclined to breakfast and the newspaper, and change that inclination. We are asking that God create desires that are not there.
O—(Open!) Next I need to have the eyes of my heart opened so that when my inclination leads me to the Word, I see what is really there, and not just my own ideas. Who opens the eyes of the heart? God does. So Psalm 119:18 teaches us to pray, “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.” So many times we read the Bible and see nothing wonderful. Its reading does not produce joy. So what can we do? We can cry to God: “Open the eyes of my heart, O Lord, to see what it says about you as wonderful.”
U—(Unite!) Then I am concerned that my heart is badly fragmented. Parts of it are inclined, and parts of it are not. Parts see wonder, and parts say, “That’s not so wonderful.” What I long for is a united heart where all the parts say a joyful Yes! to what God reveals in his Word. Where does that wholeness and unity come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 86:11 teaches us to pray, “Unite my heart to fear your name.” Don’t stumble over the word fear when you
thought we were seeking joy. The fear of the Lord is a joyful experience when you renounce all sin. A thunderstorm can be a trembling joy when you know you can’t be destroyed by lightning. “O Lord, let your ear be attentive to . . . the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name” (Neh. 1:11). “His delight shall be in the fear of the LORD” (Isa. 11:3). Therefore pray that God would unite your heart to joyfully fear the Lord.
S—(Satisfy!) What I really want from all this engagement with the Word of God and the work of his Spirit in answer to my prayers is for my heart to be satisfied with God and not with the world. Where does that satisfaction come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 90:14 teaches us to pray, “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”

Movie Trailer: Defiance

I have high hopes! Looking forward to it...

The Scarlet Pimpernel

This is my favorite movie. Of all time. But if you see it, you might think I'm crazy. I mean, it has drama, romance, a period setting, sword fights, intrigue, betrayal, heroism, self-sacrifice, all that good stuff. But it's a made-for-TV movie, for goodness sake! The truth is, I saw it for the first time at age 9. I've seen it many many many times since then. It's impossible for me to see it objectively now.

When I showed it to my husband, at least he could finally understand why I kept saying "sink me!" every time I synced his palm pilot (you'll have to see it yourself to understand what I'm talking about). But when I showed it to another friend for her first time, I could just feel her rolling her eyes! Maybe I'll just keep my favorite movie to myself. :)

Do It Yourself Seder

We had our second annual Seder the Thursday before Easter.

A Seder is the service/meal that Jews have to celebrate the Passover. Years ago I bought a Seder plate and this book from Jews for Jesus. Last year we decided to start working on developing a Seder we could do with our family. I had to cut a lot...Karis was just a year old. But we invited over another family who had a child who was 3 and could ask the questions. No doubt it is still way more meaningful for the adults, though! But we want to practice it so that as the kids get older it will be very meaningful for them, to show Christ in the Passover. And we love to also include another family with kids a similar age as ours.

So this document shows how we did it, and some advice and tips for myself to make future years flow better and be even more clear.

Why Buy Expensive Baby Toys?

Birthday Letter to Karis from Daddy

My dear Karis,

I’m not sure how much I can add to what your Mommy has written for you. It was beautiful. I loved every word. Karis, I love seeing you when I come home from work. I open my arms wide to give you a hug, but you usually look at me and perhaps walk toward me, and then right past me. And then I go play with you, and sometimes chase you, and that always makes you giggle.

You are focused and busy. I see a lot of Mommy and me in you. I think you will become a strong, intelligent, and observant woman. You learn by watching, and you study intently. But I hope you are not afraid to try new things. Sometimes that’s the only way to learn.

Recently we’ve started throwing a little basketball back and forth to each other. At first, you couldn’t catch it, but you still liked it, and laughed a lot while we did it. But now you can both trap the ball against your body and really catch it in the air. You can throw it about 6 inches. For your birthday party, Daddy is going to set up a little basketball play area for you.

Another one of our things is playing in the water. You love to run right for the water when we go to the beach (just like your Daddy). The only problem is that your mom has to save you from drowning. I’m looking forward to your learning how to swim.

I love reading to you. As Mom wrote, you are getting less squirmy, and that makes Bible story time more enjoyable for everyone. We’ve been reading the book of John together (about a chapter a day), and we just finished chapter 16.

We pray that God will continue to bless you physically, mentally and spiritually. May He show you His character by enabling your parents to be good examples to you, balancing toughness and tenderness even as Jesus Himself did. May He give you a soft, obedient heart to match your strong, determined will. May He use your disobedience to lead you to repentance and faith. May He help Mommy and Daddy to be sensitive to your heart, so that you learn that sin is not merely external, but (at its deepest level) lies in the heart and the mind. Repentance and faith mean turning away from wanting to be God and trusting that God knows best and that heart-felt obedience to Him is the happiest life possible.

We love you so much.

Your Daddy

Birthday Letter to Karis from Mommy

As described in Friday's blog post, here is the letter I wrote for Karis' birthday:

Dear Karis,

You are 2 years old today! It has been such a joy to watch God grow you physically, emotionally, and spiritually from babyhood into toddlerhood.

Whenever anyone meets you, they say, “She’s busy!” And so you are. You are very task-oriented. Every day when you wake up, you immediately tackle your to-do list for the day, playing with all your toys and books upstairs and downstairs. Woe to the one who interrupts you from the task at hand!

You are so independent, and have no fear to go off on your own. You are usually perfectly content to be left in a church nursery or with a babysitter. And you do things on your own schedule. You crawled early at 6 months, even before you could sit up! Then you walked late, at 15 months. You were a champion, seasoned crawler. At 13 months a friend suggested we put you in dresses so that you wouldn’t be able to crawl and so would have to walk. But even a long dress didn’t slow down your crawling at bit. And now you’re not talking much, but you definitely know how to get what you want. You know important words like “more”, “up”, and “down.” You’ll grab any adult’s hand to get the help you want. We’ll work on “please” next. :)

It has been so fun watching you learn things in your own way. When your Grammy got you a puzzle, she couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t try it and kept guiding her hand to do it. But once you did finally try for yourself, you had already mastered it. I went over the alphabet (which you were totally fascinated by) over and over again with you. I never had any idea if you were “getting” it or not. Then one day I drew a circle and you said, “O”. I drew other letters and you named them. I asked you which one is an “R” and you knew it!

You became a big sister this year. You laughed at my growing belly all summer, and sat perched on top of it when I carried you. Then when Jonathan was born, you were curious, saying “baby,” but never wanting to hold or kiss him. Sometimes when you first woke up in the morning or when we picked you up from nursery you’d ask for him. You were so helpful, coming to get me when he cried, putting his binky in, and holding his bottle. And when he was born you had weeks of dedicated attention from your grandmothers and lots of new toys to play with.

You decided your daddy was pretty cool one day in October when we went to the beach. He was out playing in the deeper water, and we were running through the shallower waves. You saw him out there and yelled “Daddy, Daddy!” for the first time. Now you ask for him throughout the day and love to play with him. When he walks by, your face lights up and you go off looking for him. And while you play a lot by yourself, you love to be held by your mommy and snuggle when you’re read to.

Every night we read you a Bible story. Most of the year you had to be read to in your crib because you were so squirmy! But recently it’s been sweet for your daddy to hold you on his lap. You don’t always look like you’re paying attention, but whatever book we’re reading you carry around all the next day. Before every meal we say grace. You wait expectantly for it, and quietly hold hands. Then when we’re done, you exuberantly say your version of “amen:”MEE-MAH.

Over the course of the year you learned a lot about obeying. “No” was your first word. I appreciated how you’d warn me when you were about to do something you shouldn’t by saying “no no no no no.” After Jonathan was born and I could no longer chase after you, you quickly learned to “come” when called, sometimes even while crying because you didn’t want to, but knew you needed to obey. You have a strong will, but God is softening you to obey and consider others.

You are a beautiful and sweet girl. We delight in your focused curiosity, confident independence, and easy laugh. I miss you so much whenever we’re apart, even if just for your nap. You are a precious gift from God to us. Words cannot express how much I enjoy you and treasure you. I am so happy I get to be your mommy.

Birthday Traditions

Karis turned 2 yesterday! Here are two traditions we are cultivating:

1. Birthday scrapbook: This was an idea from another mom at the mothers' group at church. I've been overwhelmed with how far behind (of course) I am on scrapbooking. She has four kids, and gives each on their birthday the scrapbook pages for the prior year. This is perfect for me! A fairly do-able deadline. I won't have her 2nd year 100% completed on her birthday, but I'll be close. And then I'm only a year behind on her life, and still have 6 months to finish Jonathan's first year. :)

2. Birthday letter: This is an idea sparked by Noel Piper's book Treasuring God in Our Traditions. While the Pipers don't do a birthday letter per se (Pastor John writes a poem), letters are more our style. This year Alex and I each wrote a letter to Karis. I'll post them the next two days. We consider her personality, what we love about her, her accomplishments and milestones for the year, and evidences of grace and God at work in her life. We'll read them aloud to her when we celebrate her birthday tomorrow, and then I'll scrapbook the letters.

Extreme living

We're studying Acts in the Bible study at church. One of the questions we discussed was how did we think Paul and Silas endured the persecution they faced, singing songs in prison, pressing on even when they kept getting kicked out, stoned, beaten, and imprisoned. I think of our friends who are missionaries in some of the most extreme places in the world.

I have no doubt that Paul and Silas were, and my friends are, very aware of the dangers they face, and are diligent to study the Bible, pray together, and sing worship songs. The intensity of their circumstances would make it unthinkable to just get through the day, thinking, "boy, it's been awhile since I had a quiet time. I should think about doing that soon." Even when I've been on a short-term missions trip to Mexico I have been so conscious of my inadequacy and the importance of what we're doing, and have made sure I spent time in the Word and in dependent prayer.

It's easy to dismiss the struggles of missionaries as irrelevant to us in the US where we have no expectation that anyone might be waiting outside the church with guns to disperse us or put us in prison. What God has been impressing on me through this study, though, is that our circumstances here in suburban US are possibly even MORE extreme.

We face dire danger: enough money, enough food, good churches, good friends, TV, video games, and a million comforts and distractions that threaten to make us dependent on things and on ourselves instead of on the only One who can save us.

When our friends left for the mission field, in a country with on-going genocide and war, their parents were extremely concerned that they were taking their 2 little ones to this dangerous place. The pastor "reassured" us at the send-off service that it is far more dangerous, from an eternal perspective, to raise children in this country.

I am convicted that I need to live just as I would if I were on a missions trip, just as I would if I faced the persecution and high calling that Paul and Silas do, because my situation is entirely as intense.

Raising a man

I am very conscious that our culture is doing a great job at turning out video-game playing, late-marrying, long-term adolescents. We want to raise our son to be a man! Thankfully, since he's only 5 months old, we have time.

This was an interesting article by Kay Hymowitz, called "The child-man" (containing some PG-13 content) that I read in Sunday's paper:

For whatever reason, adolescence appears to be the young man's default state, proving what anthropologists have discovered in cultures everywhere: It is marriage and children that turn boys into men. Now that the SYM can put off family into the hazily distant future, he can – and will – try to stay a child-man. Not only is no one asking that today's twenty- or thirtysomething become a responsible husband and father – that is, grow up – but a freewheeling marketplace gives him everything he needs to settle down in pig's heaven indefinitely.

and

Adults don't emerge. They're made.

Great tool for verse memorizing

I had been wanting to blog on how much I love the Fighter Verse Pack, and happily Alex just blogged on the Fighter Verse system. It's a tool developed by people at Bethlehem Baptist Church, which we attended while we lived in Minnesota from 2004-2007. I loved it that the whole church was working together on the same verse(s) each week!

While I worked on Fighter Verses while we went to the church and subsequently, I always felt frustrated on how to keep them. It wasn't until I ordered a Fighter Verse Pack for myself that I really started having a lot of fun with verse memory and find it so much easier to review the verses.

I feel like in this pack is plenty of verses to keep me busy memorizing for years. They are verses selected by people I really trust to help me grow in my faith and to fight sin. And there are handy tabs you can place to quickly find which verse you are working on, which verses you are currently reviewing, and where you will stop and test yourself on the last 50 verses.

We are still memorizing the same verses that the people at Bethlehem are working on, even though they're halfway across the country. But at least Alex and I can do them together. And I practice them out loud when my kids are with me, so that they can start being exposed to verse memory and we can eventually do it together, as soon as Karis starts talking.

While the Fighter Verse Pack I think was the best $18 (with shipping) I've ever spent, the verses are also available for free on pdf on the the Bethlehem website.

Be fruitful and MULTIPLY!

I was glancing through my husband's e-mail when I saw a friend had e-mailed him a link to a sermon that looked interesting. I listened to it just now as I did the dishes. WOW. Voddie Baucham was preaching to pastors, not moms, but I was was encouraged as a mother. He exhorted the pastors to embrace a biblical worldview of youth ministry:
1. Parents are responsible for evangelizing and discipling their children, not church youth groups. It is the role of the church to equip and encourage the parents.
2. Children are a blessing and, as pastors, they should encourage and bless large families.

The message is called The Centrality of the Home. Here is the information about it on his website:

In February of 2006, a group of more than 1,000 pastors and church leaders gathered for the Southern Baptist of Texas State Evangelism Conference in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. During the second night of the conference Voddie Baucham, who had preached at the previous year's conference, was called upon to stand in for Dr. Tim LaHaye who had become ill a few days earlier. No one was ready for what happened next.

In a message State Director of Evangelism, Don Cass called "Truly Prophetic," Voddie Baucham set the auditorium ablaze. The challenge he issued cut straight to the heart of the crisis in contemporary Evangelicalism.

This message has since been heard around the world. Emails from Singapore, Australia, Southern Africa and Central Europe have flooded in along with those from the United States as God uses this message to shake the foundations of ministries, institutions and individuals alike.

My Faith Story

Our church has asked each woman to write her "faith story." Here is mine.

I am so thankful that I grew up in a Christian home with a functional, fun, warm, close family, and was saved as a preschooler. But in some ways it was more difficult to understand the gospel without having consciously experienced life without Him.

Although no one ever said this, I got the idea that Christians don’t sin. I knew that when my parents were saved in their early 20s, they started living very differently than they had in their wild college days. So I didn’t know how to handle my own struggles with sin that intensified when I reached high school and college. Although in retrospect I know they would have been so encouraging, at the time I didn’t want to risk disappointing my parents. So I agonized alone…was I really saved? Why was I sinning? How could I stop?

God continued to be at work in my life: I was surrounded by godly people and went to Bible-teaching churches. And although I was inconsistent, He gave me a strong desire to study His Word and obey Him. A turning point was when I joined Bible Study Fellowship and had real accountability for daily Bible study. Funny how the answers to my questions are always in the Bible…if I just read it! I came to see that the gospel wasn’t just for me when I was saved at 3; I need it every moment of every day!

I am so thankful that I am not saved because of my (insufficient) obedience, but through turning from my sins and having faith in Jesus, that He is God’s Son and died for my sins and was resurrected and glorified. Now God does not see me with all my flaws; but with Christ’s perfection. So when I am dismayed at my own failings I am thankful for their reminder that I am imperfect, which makes my joy in Jesus all the more precious and immediate. My delight in Him fills me with a longing to praise and to please Him. He will make me more holy as I respond to what He has done, focusing on knowing Him and His promises, and not on my struggles.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Jane Austen's History of England

Mansfield Park (1999) is my favorite Jane Austen movie.

And I just learned that the History of England presented in this movie as written by the character Fanny is actually a real book that Jane wrote when she was just 16!






Here is the book. I'd love to read it; the quotes from her history in the movie are hilarious.










The bit I saw in the paper was a review of this book, which has both Austen's and Charles Dickens' versions of the history of England.

Movie Review: Michael Clayton

I wanted to see this movie since it was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar and, since it just came out on DVD, my visiting parents hadn't seen it yet. I was quite impressed by the movie, and recommend it. The acting is excellent and the story is smart, captivating, and thought-provoking.

Caveats: it's tough to follow the story at first, but as it unfolds it is fascinating. The language is atrocious.

The basic premise is that a "fixer" at a law firm, Michael Clayton (George Clooney), is called in to take care of a partner who has gone crazy while working on the defense of a lawsuit against a very important client. I was intrigued by the tension and discovery of what was right and what was wrong (always complicated), and what each character chooses and why. I was especially intrigued by the character of the lead counsel for the firm's client, Karen Crowder, played by Tilda Swinton, who won the best-supporting actress Oscar for the role. Crowder was so overwhelmed, and clearly out of her league. While I thankfully never made decisions as colossally poor as hers were, I often had the experience when working (and even now as a mom!) of taking on roles that were beyond my experience or abilities (at least as I perceived them at the time). So my empathy for her made the ending all the more tragic, even as it was very satisfying.

Toddler knows her geography!

This is impressive, but does she know the capitals?


HT: Michelle

Jif's Decadent Peanut Butter Pie

I ran across this recipe in a Sunday ad insert. And it is SOOOO good. Too bad Karis is too young to eat peanuts, and this is so not Alex's thing. Good thing my parents will be here tomorrow to help me eat it!

To Vote for McCain...or Not?

I am a Huckabee fan. But I do realize that even in a brokered convention (unlikely) he won't be the nominee.

So that leaves me with...should I vote for McCain or not?

I have always appreciated Dr. Dobson, and he will not be voting for McCain.

And I hate the idea of sending a message to the GOP that it takes moderate/left Republicans like Schwarzenegger or McCain to win an election. I hate the idea of rewarding McCain for things like McCain/Feingold, the Gang of 14, his "no" votes on the Bush tax cuts, his "no" vote on the marriage amendment, etc.

But it may be critical to vote for him because of Islamofascism and because of the better judges he would appoint. Maybe that's critical enough to outweigh any other reservations I have.

I read an amusing/scary column speculating what the country would be like in 2012 if the Republicans didn't all unite behind McCain and Obama wins.

Why I Married My Husband (Part 3 of 3)

3. I married Alex because I knew he could handle the hard things that we would go through together. Whenever we had a conflict, he always moved toward me. He was committed to working things out and restoring our relationship. We have always come out closer and stronger after conflict. Even when I (generally a people-pleaser who hates conflict and works to repair things as quickly as possible) want to retreat and co-exist in stony silence, he never lets me. He always makes sure things are made right. And he is willing to change. He is humble to want to learn where he is at fault, and/or what he can do to make me happy. And he genuinely sacrifices himself to grow and learn and adapt. And I LOVE that he is quick and clever to turn a frosty exchange into a joke we laugh at for weeks.

Alex has a deep understanding and perspective of the role of suffering and of God's sovereignty. I knew he would always be a comfort and a rock to me whatever we went through, and that he would speak truth to me and point me to Christ in whatever we encountered together.

And now that we are married, in many ways things are better than I had ever imagined. Alex, like most men, isn't one to really talk about his feelings, and likes to process internally. Yet he always talks things out with me and gives much weight to my opinions and perspectives. I truly feel like his partner and help meet. And he is so tender with me! Often when I'm grouchy or short, he'll make a playful joke or say something sweet, and I have to smile and give him a hug!

God has blessed me with a wonderful husband, who I respect and love tremendously. He always makes me feel loved, desirable, wanted, first. In the daily stresses of life may I never forget what a gift he is.

Why I Married My Husband (Part 2 of 3)

2. Alex was living and wanted to live for Christ, living out his faith and love for God in every aspect of his life, showing that Jesus was his treasure.

Alex tried to scare me away when we first met, and instead drew me irresistibly to him! He wanted me to know that he wasn't choosing the white picket fence life, that he would live sold-out to God, with a wartime lifestyle, making choices to glorify God in all he did. He gave me the book Don't Waste Your Life to read, and I was pretty much sold right there. Certainly he would stretch me in my faith and walk with God, and not hold me back.

Yet Alex is balanced, too. You might think from what I wrote that we live a spartan existence with bloody knees. But Alex understands too the value of recreation and enjoyment of life. It means so much to me that as we struggle to think how can we make each decision, each dollar, each moment count the most, he loves to whisk us all out for lunch or take a weekend away with me at the beach.

Why I Married My Husband (Part 1 of 3)

This past Friday I was at the mother's group, "A Mother's Place," at our church. In light of Valentine's Day, one of the questions we discussed at my table was, "Why did you marry your husband?" After we got beyond "because he asked me," there were some great answers. I answered too, but afterwards thought I could have articulated it better. So here is my stab at a more coherent articulation of why I married Alex:

1. Alex is a man. That may seem like a given, but I found it rather impressive that, when I met him, he was ready to be a grown-up, ready to provide for a family, ready to be the spiritual leader of a family, ready to be a servant-leader to his wife. Even though I had dated quite a bit before (I was 28 when I met Alex), this set of traits was not common. I had, sadly, let go of the dream I'd find a man like this. It was wrong of me to do so, and God blessed me far more than I deserved to find such a man. And in Berkeley, no less!

Others I had dated were fairly laid back, uncertain about their futures, go-with-the-flow kind of guys. In some ways it was good for me to have balance for my more driven, type-A personality. But I hated being the more motivated of a pair. So it was pretty exciting to meet Alex, who is far more driven than I am. Now I get to be the laid-back one! (Or, at least being so similar we can each understand how the other thinks and catch each other from taking things too far.) Now Alex, who went from getting his PhD in engineering to studying theology to teaching engineering and so on may not exactly have the most predictable career path, but he is so competent and effective at everything he does. He is passionate about putting his skills and gifts and interests to the best use for God's kingdom, at the same time always responsibly providing for his family.

And Alex was ready to have a family. He was thinking about marriage and knew he wanted children. And he had already thought about what it would look like for him to be a spiritual leader of his family. He wasn't thinking about these things lightly, but was aware of the burden and joy and ready to assume the role of husband and father.

Breakthrough

I'm a little excited tonight. She did it! We've been talking about the alphabet, singing the song, you know the drill. Other than intense interest, I wouldn't think she was picking up a thing. And colors. Never has she seemed to care or recognize colors. But then...today! I ask her to point to the red flowers on a page in her storybook. She does! I say, "show me a blue flower." She does! We continue...her success isn't 100%, but she clearly gets it! And then, tonight in the bath, she's sticking foam letters and numbers to the side of the tub. I say, "Karis, where's the 'R'?" And she points to it! Then the "X"! Even the "4"! She has NEVER done anything like that before! All this time she's just listening, watching, learning. And I'm thinking, "what am I doing wrong? Why isn't she learning anything?" But she is! She's just processing it all first.

OK, so I'm a proud mama.

Enchanted

My wonderful husband took me to see this movie for our anniversary in December. He even said he liked it. What a sweetie! I LOVED this song:

Movie Review: "Blood Diamond" (B+)

The overall story and premise are quite good. Archer, a white African solider of fortune (Leonardo di Caprio, who, for the first time, looks older than 13) uses a black, displaced fisherman (the always amazing Djimon Hounsou) to find an enormous diamond. The former fisherman, Solomon Vandy, lost his family during a violent raid by rebels who are mining the diamonds to fund their violent war. Vandy's son has been conscripted and brainwashed as a child solider, and Solomon will do anything, including abetting Archer, to find and save his family. The action and scenes directly supporting the story are well-acted and well-paced. But there is way too much talking and making of profound points by the actors, to the detriment of the movie. The story is quite didactic enough without stopping to explain and preach so much. I would recommend the movie, but it is a lot more watchable if you know what to expect. But most of all, I left with a conviction and desire to do something! My beautiful engagement ring is already bought, so Alex and I pray it is not a "blood diamond" (mined to finance senseless violence and conflict). I suspect that even if he'd asked for a "conflict-free" diamond when he bought it, it would be impossible to be certain it wasn't. And all throughout the movie I remembered what I've read about similar pain brought to African families when oil is discovered in their region. I don't hear many calling for a stop to buying oil...I am praying that God will change the hearts of those causing and contributing to the violence.

Freedom to Love

From Andrée Seu in World Magazine:

She is able to ask forgiveness of her mate, even in cases where the fault is not mainly hers, and even if he does not admit blame. She is able to overlook unintentionally hurtful remarks because she is confident in her status with her Lover—"The King is enthralled by your beauty" (Psalm 45:11). She is able to overlook deliberately hurtful remarks because she has behaved that way herself, and so knows the misery of its origin and is pained into praying for her mate's release. She "believes all things" about her mate and is able to visualize his future glory, when all blemishes will be removed to release the real saint.

The whole column.

My blog

Just trying to keep up with my husband...www.alexchediak.com/blog

Not really! But I thought it'd be nice to have a place to share thoughts, pictures, etc. with friends and family.

Happy Valentine's Day! I still have 1 minute!